What's Hot

    Treat Yourself: Explore restored wetlands, more at Canastota’s Great Swamp Conservancy

    June 1, 2023

    Explore CNY: Cazenovia has something for every age

    June 1, 2023

    Summer Learning Loss is Real

    June 1, 2023
    Facebook Twitter Instagram
    Trending
    • Treat Yourself: Explore restored wetlands, more at Canastota’s Great Swamp Conservancy
    • Explore CNY: Cazenovia has something for every age
    • Summer Learning Loss is Real
    • 315 Bulletin
    • Berries and Cream Croissant Breakfast Casserole
    • Summer Activities Guide
    • A Day for Dad
    • Wondrous Waterfalls
    Facebook Twitter Instagram RSS
    Family TimesFamily Times
    • Community Guide
    • Things to Do in CNY
      1. Central New York Events
      2. Activities
      3. Treat Yourself
      Featured

      Treat Yourself: Explore restored wetlands, more at Canastota’s Great Swamp Conservancy

      By Courtney KlessJune 1, 202311
      Recent

      Treat Yourself: Explore restored wetlands, more at Canastota’s Great Swamp Conservancy

      June 1, 2023

      Explore CNY: Cazenovia has something for every age

      June 1, 2023

      Summer Activities Guide

      June 1, 2023
    • Parenting
      1. Pregnancy
      2. Babies
      3. Kids
      4. Preschoolers/Toddlers
      5. Special Needs
      6. Teens
      7. Pets
      8. View All

      The Power to Save a Life: Cord blood is being used to treat more than 80 diseases

      January 30, 2020

      It’s Not What It Looks Like: Reflections on motherhood’s changes, outside and inside

      July 29, 2019

      In Search of Sleep: 8 Strategies for coping with wakeful babies

      July 29, 2019

      A Surgical Birth: Many pregnant women are likely to deliver by cesarean

      July 29, 2019

      Strangers Bearing Advice: New babies bring out the expert in everyone

      August 1, 2021

      Hand to Mouth: How to help babies start to sample solid food

      August 1, 2020

      315 Bulletin

      August 1, 2020

      Name, Please? Expectant parents face another momentous decision

      August 1, 2020

      Prep Work: Keep your family’s food safe this summer

      June 1, 2022

      A Blooming Craft: These homemade flowers make a great centerpiece

      March 1, 2021

      Rainbow Snowflakes: A colorful craft even little ones can make

      November 24, 2020

      DIY Critter Magnets: Make cute clips for hanging reminders and more

      September 1, 2020

      DIY Critter Magnets: Make cute clips for hanging reminders and more

      September 1, 2020

      Allergy Adjustments: Parents can support their food allergic child

      September 3, 2019

      Calming Commotion: How to deal with car sickness and more

      June 27, 2019

      Introducing Riff Rockit: Kindie artist to play jingles at Leon Fest

      June 1, 2017

      A History of Inclusion: The Jowonio School marked 50 years in 2019

      March 30, 2020

      Reaching a Milestone: Now the largest chapter in the country, Special Olympics New York is celebrating 50 years

      March 30, 2020

      Come Out and Play: Move Along offers adaptive sports for youth, adults

      March 30, 2020

      Let’s Get Together: Remaking classrooms so all students are included

      September 3, 2019

      Prep Work: Keep your family’s food safe this summer

      June 1, 2022

      A Little Jolt: Caffeine’s risks for kids and teens

      March 1, 2021

      A Blooming Craft: These homemade flowers make a great centerpiece

      March 1, 2021

      Environmental Club: Auburn Junior High School

      January 30, 2020

      Furry Friends: What it takes to adopt a pet for the first time

      July 1, 2020

      Tail Wagging Fun: Lights on the Lake Dog Walk 2019

      November 14, 2019

      Uncommon Companions: Local pet store sticks to its niche

      May 30, 2019

      Dog Food for Thought: Trying to keep your pet from your plate

      May 30, 2019

      Summer Learning Loss is Real

      June 1, 2023

      A Day for Dad

      June 1, 2023

      Crash Course: Help your child brush up on study skills for final exams

      May 1, 2023

      A Day Just for Mom: Mother’s Day celebrations and gifts she’ll treasure

      May 1, 2023
    • Health
      1. Child Development
      2. Food
      3. Nutrition
      4. The “Recipe Doctor”
      5. View All

      Financial Literacy for Families: How parents can teach children, teens about money management

      April 1, 2022

      Strangers Bearing Advice: New babies bring out the expert in everyone

      August 1, 2021

      Choosing a Daycare: Learn As You Grow’s Joshua LaGrow offers some tips for finding the right fit

      August 1, 2021

      A Little Jolt: Caffeine’s risks for kids and teens

      March 1, 2021

      Berries and Cream Croissant Breakfast Casserole

      June 1, 2023

      Prep Work: Keep your family’s food safe this summer

      June 1, 2022

      Nutrition in No Time: Are you always on the go? These tips will help you stay on track.

      January 1, 2022

      Easy Holiday Recipes: Are you searching for some new dishes this season? These are some of our favorites.

      November 1, 2021

      Nutrition in No Time: Are you always on the go? These tips will help you stay on track.

      January 1, 2022

      Liking Lunch: Best bets for serving kids a delicious, nutritious meal

      September 1, 2021

      A Little Jolt: Caffeine’s risks for kids and teens

      March 1, 2021

      Better Choices: How about a resolution to eat vegetables and other nutritious foods?

      January 1, 2021

      Best Friend’s Treats: Bake up some special dog biscuits

      June 1, 2018

      Colorful Soup in a Jar: Give the gift of winter comfort

      December 1, 2015

      Berry Good! Use a summer favorite in this ice cream

      July 1, 2015

      Flapjack Fever: Even pancakes can be a healthy breakfast

      June 1, 2015

      Treat Yourself: Explore restored wetlands, more at Canastota’s Great Swamp Conservancy

      June 1, 2023

      Berries and Cream Croissant Breakfast Casserole

      June 1, 2023

      Treat Yourself: Watch a show – or two – at Redhouse Arts Center

      May 1, 2023

      315 Bulletin

      May 1, 2023
    • Travel
    • Education
      1. Educator of the Month
      2. Class of the Month
      3. Education News
      4. Reading
      5. Teaching
      Featured

      Summer Learning Loss is Real

      By Kimberly BlakerJune 1, 20236
      Recent

      Summer Learning Loss is Real

      June 1, 2023

      Lzay Colella, Lead Instructor for Le Moyne College’s Summer Arts Institute Musical Theatre Camp

      June 1, 2023

      Ben Borenstein, Education Coordinator at Redhouse Arts Center

      May 1, 2023
    • Crafts & DIY
      • Create
      • Holiday Crafts
    Family TimesFamily Times
    Home»Parenting»Reflections on Adoption: A family is created—with time, love and fate
    Parenting

    Reflections on Adoption: A family is created—with time, love and fate

    Tami ScottBy Tami ScottOctober 25, 2018Updated:October 26, 2018No Comments0 Views
    Share
    Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email

    It took about a year and three months from the time we began the adoption process with our chosen agency to meeting our 6-year-old son and 12-year-old daughter for the very first time.

    What an incredible day that was! The journey to that day, however, included a few obstacles, but from what I’ve heard that’s pretty average. For example, some couples wait years for a referral, becoming so frustrated they want to give up. For other prospective parents, the process goes quickly, even happening within months.

    My point is that some self-knowledge can help you when you face road bumps—or unexpected acceleration—in the process. Once you know your own mind, you will be fortified with more patience and perseverance. And time can be a factor in the types of adoptions available to you, depending on how long you’re willing to wait. (If right now you’re in the middle of the process, you can probably relate to what I’m saying!)

    If you’re thinking about adopting, but not sure where to start, it’s best to do a lot of research and soul-searching. This will help you and your partner better understand the right fit for you, and for your soon-to-be child.

    Adopting children may be different from birthing children biologically, but the end result is the same: You become a family.

    When my husband and I decided we wanted to adopt, we weren’t exactly sure how to begin. We went to an informational meeting at a local adoption agency. The presenter discussed the importance of finding out where you are on the spectrum of adoption—meaning are you set on adopting an infant only, or would you consider older children? Is race a factor for you? Special needs? Are you willing to foster to adopt? Are you comfortable with open vs. closed adoptions? Do you want to adopt within the United States or outside?

    There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. And while it’s useful to talk it out with loved ones, and seek different perspectives from other adoptive parents and families, your answers to these complex questions must come from your very own place: your heart.

    My husband and I had to find out where our hearts were leading us. . . which we soon realized was Colombia. The agency we found specialized in finding forever families for sibling sets. My husband and I were in our late 30s and early 40s (I’m the older one) and felt time was of the essence.

    We both agreed we’d want more than one child, so adopting siblings made sense. And so the process started: home visits, fingerprints, background checks, medical exams, blood tests, paperwork, delays, and paperwork—lots and lots of paperwork! When all was said and done, we learned to wait again.

    Then one day we got the call. Our flights were booked and we arrived in Colombia within a week. We spent exactly six weeks and one day there, finalizing the adoption while getting to know our beautiful children, their personalities, likes and dislikes. We also met other brand-new parents with whom we connected and still keep in touch.

    Since then, we were blessed with one more child: About five months after we arrived home from Bogota, I found out I was pregnant.

    Our family is now complete with a daughter, two sons and a wide range in ages: 17, 11 and soon-to-be 4. I’d like to say it’s been an easy ride, but anyone with children—biological or adopted—would know I’m just blowing smoke.

    Adopting children may be different from birthing children biologically, but the end result is the same: You become a family. There’s no getting around the pain and joy that comes with family. And although there’s the saying that children don’t come with an instruction manual, there are a lot of resources out there to help prepare you for when they do arrive.

    In retrospect, I wish I had used the tools presented to us by our social worker at the time, which were mostly books. I thought, “Love will take care of any problems we face.” Well, yes, love provides a foundation, but so does education! And while I did crack open a book or two, I didn’t finish them. My husband, however, did, and shared the knowledge he acquired to the best of his ability.

    My advice to you? Read! Not only should you find the books that best pertain to your situation—or could pertain to your situation—but make sure you’re emotionally ready for both the changes and the challenges.

    After a bunch of research, if you’re still unsure, don’t rush. Delays have their purpose. Take your time, consider the options, ask questions. And for reference, check out this page dedicated specifically to helping people undecided about adoption. Other links on the page can also help.

    One final thought about an encounter that seemed comical when it happened, but which I later realized reflected a profound truth. All three of our kids and I took a walk to our neighborhood pharmacy to buy a few things. Our youngest, blond and fair-skinned, was in his stroller. Our middle and oldest, both Hispanic with dark features, were standing next to me. The cashier said to me, “Were they all born blond?” I just looked at her, initially puzzled, and then I realized she was serious. I answered, “No, just him,” and smiled. She didn’t see that difference. Instead, she saw a family.

    Adoption First Person parenting
    Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Telegram Email
    Tami Scott

    Related Posts

    Summer Learning Loss is Real

    June 1, 2023

    A Day for Dad

    June 1, 2023

    Crash Course: Help your child brush up on study skills for final exams

    May 1, 2023
    Stay In Touch
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Instagram
    • LinkedIn
    Top Posts

    Summer Activities Guide

    June 1, 202330

    Wondrous Waterfalls

    June 1, 202325

    Lzay Colella, Lead Instructor for Le Moyne College’s Summer Arts Institute Musical Theatre Camp

    June 1, 202318

    Treat Yourself: Watch a show – or two – at Redhouse Arts Center

    May 1, 202315
    Flip Through Our Latest Issue!
    Recent Posts
    • Treat Yourself: Explore restored wetlands, more at Canastota’s Great Swamp Conservancy
    • Explore CNY: Cazenovia has something for every age
    • Summer Learning Loss is Real
    • 315 Bulletin
    • Berries and Cream Croissant Breakfast Casserole

    Family Times Magazine publishes a digital magazine highlighting events, businesses, and content to inform and entertain families here in Central New York. Sign up for our twice monthly newsletter to have the magazine and other featured content.
    ____

    Email Us: [email protected]
    Contact: 1.315.422.7011

    Facebook Twitter YouTube LinkedIn RSS
    Our Picks

    Treat Yourself: Explore restored wetlands, more at Canastota’s Great Swamp Conservancy

    June 1, 2023

    Explore CNY: Cazenovia has something for every age

    June 1, 2023

    Summer Learning Loss is Real

    June 1, 2023
    Most Popular

    Summer Activities Guide

    June 1, 202330

    Wondrous Waterfalls

    June 1, 202325

    Lzay Colella, Lead Instructor for Le Moyne College’s Summer Arts Institute Musical Theatre Camp

    June 1, 202318
    © 2023 All Times Publishing. Designed by Crossroads Media Productions.
    • Our Authors
    • Archives
    • Community Events Calendar
    • Advertising

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.

    Go to mobile version