Close Menu
    What's Hot

    Visit Syracuse Encourages Locals to Discover Nearby ‘Simple Wonders’

    May 30, 2025

    Summer Activities Guide

    May 30, 2025

    Graduation Gifts the Class of 2025 Will Love

    May 29, 2025
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Trending
    • How to Develop ‘Momfidence’
    • Helping Your Child Cope with Seasonal Allergies
    • College Savings 101
    • Fostering Healthy Sibling Relationships
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram YouTube
    Family Times Family Times
    • Community Guide
    • CNY Events Calendar
    • Things to Do in CNY
      1. Activities
      2. Treat Yourself
      Featured

      Visit Syracuse Encourages Locals to Discover Nearby ‘Simple Wonders’

      By Courtney KlessMay 30, 20250
      Recent

      Visit Syracuse Encourages Locals to Discover Nearby ‘Simple Wonders’

      May 30, 2025

      Treat Yourself: Mark your calendar for Disney’s “The Lion King”—and the other Broadway shows coming to Syracuse in 2025

      November 26, 2024

      Ride the Rails: Scenic Train Rides for Families

      October 1, 2024
    • Parenting
      1. Pregnancy
      2. Babies
      3. Kids
      4. Preschoolers/Toddlers
      5. Special Needs
      6. Teens
      7. Pets
      8. View All

      The Power to Save a Life: Cord blood is being used to treat more than 80 diseases

      January 30, 2020

      It’s Not What It Looks Like: Reflections on motherhood’s changes, outside and inside

      July 29, 2019

      In Search of Sleep: 8 Strategies for coping with wakeful babies

      July 29, 2019

      A Surgical Birth: Many pregnant women are likely to deliver by cesarean

      July 29, 2019

      Strangers Bearing Advice: New babies bring out the expert in everyone

      August 1, 2021

      Hand to Mouth: How to help babies start to sample solid food

      August 1, 2020

      315 Bulletin

      August 1, 2020

      Name, Please? Expectant parents face another momentous decision

      August 1, 2020

      Prep Work: Keep your family’s food safe this summer

      June 1, 2022

      A Blooming Craft: These homemade flowers make a great centerpiece

      March 1, 2021

      Rainbow Snowflakes: A colorful craft even little ones can make

      November 24, 2020

      DIY Critter Magnets: Make cute clips for hanging reminders and more

      September 1, 2020

      DIY Critter Magnets: Make cute clips for hanging reminders and more

      September 1, 2020

      Allergy Adjustments: Parents can support their food allergic child

      September 3, 2019

      Calming Commotion: How to deal with car sickness and more

      June 27, 2019

      Introducing Riff Rockit: Kindie artist to play jingles at Leon Fest

      June 1, 2017

      What Is ABA Therapy for Autism? How To Find a Provider for Your Child 

      September 9, 2024

      A History of Inclusion: The Jowonio School marked 50 years in 2019

      March 30, 2020

      Reaching a Milestone: Now the largest chapter in the country, Special Olympics New York is celebrating 50 years

      March 30, 2020

      Come Out and Play: Move Along offers adaptive sports for youth, adults

      March 30, 2020

      Freedom on Wheels: How E-Scooters Empower Teens and Support Family Routines

      November 4, 2024

      Prep Work: Keep your family’s food safe this summer

      June 1, 2022

      A Little Jolt: Caffeine’s risks for kids and teens

      March 1, 2021

      A Blooming Craft: These homemade flowers make a great centerpiece

      March 1, 2021

      Is Puppy Financing Right For Your Family? Pros And Cons Explored

      April 22, 2024

      Furry Friends: What it takes to adopt a pet for the first time

      July 1, 2020

      Tail Wagging Fun: Lights on the Lake Dog Walk 2019

      November 14, 2019

      Uncommon Companions: Local pet store sticks to its niche

      May 30, 2019

      Helping Your Child Cope with Seasonal Allergies

      April 29, 2025

      College Savings 101

      April 29, 2025

      Fostering Healthy Sibling Relationships

      March 28, 2025

      How to Find the Right Summer Sitter

      March 28, 2025
    • Education
      1. Educator of the Month
      2. Class of the Month
      3. Education News
      4. Reading
      5. Teaching
      Featured

      Angelene Guglielmo, Film Program Instructor, Le Moyne College Summer Arts Institute

      By Courtney KlessMay 29, 20250
      Recent

      Angelene Guglielmo, Film Program Instructor, Le Moyne College Summer Arts Institute

      May 29, 2025

      Girl Scouts of NYPENN Pathways

      April 29, 2025

      Tom Meier, Program Manager and Camp Director at Baltimore Woods Nature Center

      March 28, 2025
    • Crafts & DIY
      • Create
      • Holiday Crafts
    Family Times Family Times
    Home»Parenting»First Person»Mentors are key to a satisfying life for a person with a developmental disability
    First Person

    Mentors are key to a satisfying life for a person with a developmental disability

    Deborah CavanaghBy Deborah CavanaghSeptember 1, 2018No Comments7 Mins Read
    Share
    Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email

    I am that person who starts preparing for what’s ahead way before the rest of the general population. My oldest child, Amanda, has Down syndrome, type 1 diabetes and celiac disease. When Amanda, who is now 21, was still in middle school, I began looking to see what was available when we left the world of school-supported services. Options have changed significantly since I began my search.

    To put together a self-directed plan that suited Amanda, I relied on information and services from Advocates Incorporated, an agency that helps people with developmental disabilities and their families. (Some of the information in this column was taken from Advocates’ site.) Self-direction allows families to plan and manage life for their adult child with special needs after school district-supported services have concluded.

    The benefits to this model are that the supported adult’s program is directed by their interests and chosen activities. The challenge for families and caregivers is that you become primarily responsible for all coordination and management of that plan on a daily basis.

    If done successfully, self-direction can provide a lifestyle that is meaningful and productive for an adult with special needs. A key to the success of self-direction are the mentors you choose and the activities you plan.

    A mentor helps the adult with special needs meet goals she has set. The mentor also communicates with the person and other members of the support team, including parents or caregivers. A mentor can also support the individual at home, on the job, and in the community.

    When your child is still in school, the match with the teaching assistant working directly with him or her can determine how well the year goes. The same is true of the mentors you hire: How well they work with your adult and others is a significant factor in meeting everyone’s needs.

    Amanda has a definite interaction style that works best for her. We learned this through trial and error during her school career. She responds best to people who are fun but firm, people who can change strategy on the fly and creatively redirect.

    Heaven forbid Amanda senses she can get the upper hand and gain control. She can figure this out in the first moments of the relationship, and the pattern can take a long time to correct. It is critical that anyone working with her develop a way to let Amanda think she is in charge without her totally being so. Head-on confrontation never works—a fact I myself tend to forget when I am frustrated.

    “A key to the success of self-direction are the mentors you choose and the activities you plan.” — Deborah Cavanagh

    Another factor: A busy Amanda is a happy Amanda. When she was in school, seven-plus hours of her day were filled without much effort on my part. I was responsible for evenings and weekends, but that was relatively easy. I knew I had to keep her active and engaged in her community. I did not want everything she did centered on eating and socializing.

    I began coordinating activities during her junior year in high school. Amanda started volunteering at three different nonprofits close to our home. These were jobs we hoped to keep after she graduated. We also hired two mentors to begin working with Amanda while she was still a student. One was specifically hired to do “fun things” on Friday nights with friends. The other picked her up from school and was in charge of physical fitness activities, which reflected valued outcomes within her plan.

    It became apparent that pairing activities with mentors worked well for Amanda. She enjoyed the variety and it made sense in her brain, and mine too. As we added endeavors we matched mentors that fit.

    I started scouting potential mentor hires even before our self-direction plan was approved. I considered family members and friends in the area; retired teachers; teaching assistants who worked in our school district; college students looking for a little extra money, who had connections to the special needs community; and siblings of Amanda’s friends with special needs, who totally “got it.” Almost anyone was a potential mentor.

    The agency you are working with will assign you to a support broker who can line up interviews with prospective mentors who work for their agency. (More information on this topic can be found at the website of the state Office for People with Developmental Disabilities.) A support broker helps you and your individual exercise as much choice and control over their life as possible. They guide individuals through initiation of a self-directed budget and provide ongoing support. You can encourage friends and family members to apply and then become eligible.

    We have found that working with mentors of various ages has worked best. Amanda has a couple of mentors who are college aged, a mentor in her 20s, two who are middle aged and a few a bit beyond that range. They each bring different skills to the table, given their personalities and life experiences.

    A benefit of having multiple mentors throughout the week is that if one has a scheduling challenge such as illness, car issue, vacation, or training, we have a pool of trained mentors, familiar with Amanda, who can cover.

    I created a Google calendar specific to Amanda to keep everything straight and hopefully not double-book her or her mentors. I color-coordinated each mentor and then listed their names and the activities they were assigned. I listed their phone numbers so each mentor could reach out to others if needed. There were days and times when Amanda was going directly from one mentor activity to another and the dropoff and pickup was out in the community. The mentors needed to connect.

    This system took trust. Amanda went from being in one place with the same set of people her whole day in school, to bopping around the greater Syracuse area with a variety of people.

    Amanda and I both need to feel comfortable with the people she works with. Amanda gives input regarding the mentors we choose. If we are hiring someone we are not familiar with, I have Amanda interview the individual along with myself and our support broker. I do this after I have already pre-interviewed the person to determine if I think they may work out.

    During the interview, it is important to see how the candidate interacts with Amanda. Do they make eye contact with her? Do they direct questions to her or to me or the support broker? Do they ask her relevant questions? Do they look comfortable given the situation? How does Amanda respond to them? Plus, it gives me a second time to meet with them and ask any questions I may have forgotten in the initial interview.

    When it comes down to it, you are the employer. If, given time and effort, the mentor does not work out, you may need to look in another direction. It is important for the adult you are supporting that their plan be successful. Having mentors who fit their activities, personality and lifestyle is crucial.

    Planning and creativity ahead of time can make the transition from high school student to active and fulfilled adult life a relatively smooth one. Isn’t that a goal we have for all our children?

    Deborah Cavanagh lives in Manlius with her husband and two children. She has written for local organizations supporting children and adults with special needs.

    child development diabetes Down syndrome First Person Growing Up special needs
    Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn WhatsApp Reddit Tumblr Email
    Deborah Cavanagh

    Related Posts

    Helping Your Child Cope with Seasonal Allergies

    April 29, 2025

    College Savings 101

    April 29, 2025

    Fostering Healthy Sibling Relationships

    March 28, 2025
    Flip Through Our Latest Issue!
    Stay In Touch
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Instagram
    • LinkedIn
    Top Posts

    2025 Summer Camp Guide

    April 1, 2025798 Views

    DIY: Make your own vibrant, paper fans in only a few easy steps

    July 1, 2020541 Views

    Host a Kid-Friendly Friendsgiving Party

    November 1, 2024408 Views

    Baby Swim Classes in CNY

    August 1, 2024376 Views

    Family Times Magazine publishes a digital magazine highlighting events, businesses, and content to inform and entertain families here in Central New York. Sign up for our twice monthly newsletter to have the magazine and other featured content.
    ____

    Email Us:
    [email protected]
    Publisher:
    [email protected]
    Contact: 1.315.422.7011

    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram LinkedIn RSS
    Our Picks

    Fall Activities Guide

    October 1, 2024
    Most Popular

    2025 Summer Camp Guide

    April 1, 2025798 Views

    DIY: Make your own vibrant, paper fans in only a few easy steps

    July 1, 2020541 Views

    Host a Kid-Friendly Friendsgiving Party

    November 1, 2024408 Views
    © 2025 Family Times, CNY. Designed by Crossroads Marketing.
    • Our Authors
    • Archives
    • Things to do around Syracuse and CNY: Local Events Calendar
    • Advertising

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.