Giving kids the responsibility of staying home alone can be a positive, confidence-building experience—a rite of passage. Every parent will reach the point where they are faced with the decision of whether their child is ready. But how do you know if they are? Children must have the skills and maturity to handle being on their own safely.
There is no magical age that determines if a child is ready to be home alone, but kids who are show the following signs:
- Not fearful of being alone in the home.
- Exhibits good decision-making.
- Shows that they are aware of others and their surroundings.
- Proves themself to be responsible and trustworthy.
- Knows their home address and phone number, as well as how to get in touch with their parents.
- Can make a snack for themselves.
- Knows how to use a phone, call a neighbor for help, and dial 911.
- Follows simple rules and instructions.
- Knows basic first aid.
If you believe your child is ready, how can you prepare them for success?
Go over the rules
Are friends allowed to come over? Is the child allowed to leave the house? Are there cable channels the child is not permitted to watch? Go over these and any other family rules and make it clear that your child understands.
Discuss possible situations
If someone comes to the door, what is the child to do? If the phone rings, are they to answer? How will they respond if someone asks to speak to the parent? “She is busy right now. Can I take a message?” is a good response.
Kitchen safety
Make sure the child knows how to use kitchen appliances and tools and discuss what they are allowed to make in the kitchen. Only cold snacks? Can they use the microwave?
Emergency preparedness
Does your child know what to do in case of smoke or a fire? What should they do if there are severe storms? Do they know basic first aid? Post emergency phone numbers and contact information so your child has it in case of an emergency. Discuss who to contact if parents are unreachable (like a neighbor, a family member, or a friend).
Create a list of “Dos” and “Don’ts”
Don’t play with matches or lighters. Don’t let anyone in the house. Don’t leave the house, except in an emergency situation. Do call and check in when you get home from school. Do work on homework and chores. Each family is different and will have their own list of what is expected.
Role play
Act out different scenarios that may arise. Pretend that the child needs to reach you; what will they do? How would they call 911? Pretend the phone rings. How will they answer? By walking through different situations, kids will be better prepared if the unexpected happens.
Start slow
Begin by leaving the child for 15-30 minutes at a time and slowly increase. Talk about any questions or problems that may have arisen. Ask your child about their feelings when home alone. If the child is fearful, they may not be ready to be on their own.
Leaving your kids home alone for the first time is a big step. Even if they are not planning to babysit, consider enrolling them in a babysitting class. The skills taught there can be very useful for kids who are beginning to stay home alone.
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